The 5 Worst Celebrity Baby Names

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You named your baby what? Off-the-wall names like Moon Unit and Dweezil Zappa may make you chuckle and shake your head, but some might say father Frank went over the top when he named his daughter Diva Thin Muffin Pigeen. Whether for fun, ego or shock value, these youngsters will carry their monikers forever. What’s in a name, you say? Apparently, either a ton of thought with hidden familial meaning or no thought at all.

5 Moxie CrimeFighter Jillette

Penn Jillette and wife EZ (Emily Zolten) named their daughter Moxie CrimeFighter because they wanted her to stand out, be unique, have a middle name and not blend in with 20 other kids named Mary. If you have Moxie, you have spunk, energy and are cool. You’re even cooler if you are a crime fighter. So chances are Moxie CrimeFighter will grow up to be a super cool kid who’s a super-cool heroine on the side—after she finishes her algebra.

4 Diva Thin Muffin Pigeen Zappa

There must be a reason father Frank Zappa named his daughter after what sounds like a cross between a Girl Scout cookie and a breakfast food. But it’s Frank Zappa. His older kids are Moon Unit, Dweezil and Ahmet. Diva may have been a vocal child, but only the man knows why he’d saddle her with secondary names like Thin Muffin and Pigeen. Maybe he misspelled Pigeon?

3 Mars Merkaba Thedford

With a name reminiscent of a candy bar, Mars Merkaba, born at home in 2009, is the daughter of four-time Grammy winner Erykah Badu and rapper Jay Electronica. The couple co-parents the toddler, although their relationship is reportedly kaput. Her eclectic mother has two older children. Son Seven Sirius Benjamin, with Andre 3000, was born in 1997. Her daughter, Puma Sabti Curry, with rapper The D.O.C., was born in 2004.

2 Little Pixie Frou-Frou Geldof

Little Pixie Geldof, youngest daughter of rock icon Bob Geldof and the late Paula Yates, seems to have dropped the Frou-Frou and Little to just be another little Pixie modeling in London. Unusual names run in the family. Her older sisters are Trixibelle and Peaches, and she has a younger sister, Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily, her half-sister, adopted by Geldof after she was orphaned by Yates’ and father Michael Hutchence’s deaths.

1 Nakoa-Wolf Manakauapo Namakaeha Momoa

Four names, how many syllables? The former Lisa Bonet, now Lilakoi Moon, and partner Jason Momoa’s son, Nokoa-Wolf, born in 2009, hasn’t reached school-age yet, but will likely be a master linguist by the time he’s 6 with a name as complicated as his. At least Momoa is easy to say.

Cheryl Hosmer is founder of an educational resource for parents and teachers. She is a science writer and teaches online courses in novel writing, ghostwriting and community journalism. Hosmer holds a Bachelor of Arts in interdisciplinary studies from Madonna University.

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